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          【文苑】户口变奏曲

          来源:今日莱州编辑:姜涛发布日期:2019-08-30 10:08:45

          我上世纪六十年代初出生在农村,刚出生就遇到了三年自然灾害。记忆最深刻的,除了小时候挨饿,就是老家那破旧不堪的模样:一座一座的土墙草屋,像极了一幅幅黑白照片,进院,猪拱天井满地坑,鸡飞锅台拉屎尿;屋内,烟火熏得四周墙壁,总是黑黢黢的。奶奶头上的黑色帽子,身上的灰色褂子,青色的绑腿布,总是落满灰尘,洗也洗不净的样子。

          稍大些,我憎恨学校为配合农忙而放的麦假、秋假,我讨厌在生产队干活时,麦芒扎得胳膊上、腿上奇痒的红疙瘩,我更心烦半夜三更熟睡时,被闪电雷鸣惊醒,跟着大人们冒雨抢装场院上的粮食的情景……对于这样的日子,我的心是不甘的。每次看到在外工作的人,骑着锃明瓦亮的自行车,穿着整洁的衣服上下班时,我都要停下脚步,两眼直勾勾地送出人家老远,馋得心里痒痒的。夏夜,跟着大人们到生产队的场院里乘凉,躺在半截麻袋片上,手不停地驱赶蚊子,眼睛一眨不眨地瞧着北斗星,期待亮晶晶的北斗星,能给我指出一条光明的路。

          想改变命运,就得靠招工或接班。一个生长在农村的孩子,能够顶替父母进城上班,宛如鲤鱼跳过了龙门,也像是土鸡变成了金凤凰。不是我们这样三代农民家庭的孩子所能望其项背的。我在村办中学上学时,全班四十几位同学,就有五位同学的父母在外边上班;有的在烟台,有的在青岛,还有在本县的。其中一位同学,中学还没毕业,就提前退学接班去了。眼瞅着人家进了城市,成了公家人,吃上商品粮,而我们毕业就得到生产队推小车、拉锄钩子,当庄户孙,自叹命运不济,生错了地方。邻村有个叫荣的女同学,父亲在县供销社当营业员。荣毕业那年,正好赶上父亲退休。荣的姐姐已过了接班的年龄,兄妹都在上学,接班的事,就像是天上掉馅饼,一下子落到了荣的头上,她在我们邻近公社的供销社,当了营业员,成了公家人儿。她每天上班、下班都要从我们村经过,晨曦中,晚霞里,那崭新的自行车,锃亮的辐条,似一道道金光,流淌在乡间的土路上。这光亮,晃得我们这些将当一辈子农民的男同学眼花缭乱,心里隐隐心痛。

          1979年冬,我迎来了人生的第一缕曙光———参军入伍。是年1211日,家乡落下了入冬后的第一场小雪。飞雪中,我们800多名新兵,从一个个乡村向县城集结。12日一早,雪停天霁,阳光穿透云层,照射大地。偌大的县城体育场里,已经换上军装的新兵与家人话别。下了汽车上火车,闷罐车宛若逶迤的长龙,沿着军用线,咣当、咣当,钻山洞,过桥梁,飞速南下。我服役的部队是装甲兵,我被选拔为坦克驾驶学员。为了心中的那个梦,我克服了各种困难,一门心思地学理论,练驾驶,学习坦克故障排除。宿舍门前,有棵法桐树一搂多粗,我去时,才刚刚吐出灰茸茸的嫩芽,它与我作伴,无言地见证了我在它的遮荫庇护下,刻苦发奋的影子,当它叶片彩霞般绚烂时,我以四科全优成绩毕业,被评为优秀学员,获得嘉奖。

          上中学时,我曾做过文学梦,但文学种子没有发芽儿。在部队里,凭着对文字的热爱,我学着写起了新闻报道,经过上百次投稿失败的磨砺,终于从废稿堆里爬了出来,先后在《解放军报》《新华日报》《人民前线》报和《人民装甲兵》杂志等报刊发表新闻稿件100余篇,两次荣立三等功,1985年转为志愿兵,终于成了吃商品粮的非农户口。有的战友问我,你们老家经济比较发达,生活挺富裕的,你还转志愿兵干么?我说,转户口呀,这是农村人的梦想哪。

          1992年,我服役期满转业回到家乡,在城市建设部门安排了工作。户口也落到了城里,领到了粮本,我彻底地跳出了“农门”,成为父母的骄傲和他们向外人炫耀的资本,也被乡亲们称赞为有出息了。一晃的工夫,我离开老家村子已经40年了。我曾那样地想逃离乡村,然而当我辗转了一些地方后,我才觉得我是被城市遮蔽的,无论如何我也融不进去。每个人都有一块福田,我的福田在乡村,它是我排遣寂寞烦恼的出口。我居住的小城,离老家只有50里地多一点,到了周末我就没有心思做其他事情,只想着快快回家,每次,我都有些激动。汽车经过村北的小河,我会想起小时候在河滩拾草的情景。走近村头,往日的沙土路,变成了平平坦坦的水泥路,路边安装了路灯。进入村子,我瞧见养老院盖得挺高档,村民活动广场宽敞明亮,各种健身器材一应俱全。遇见发小,到他们家里坐坐,瞅瞅他们新盖的房子,新买的冰箱、空调、空气净化器……城市人家里有的物品,他们全都有,甚至有些城里人没有的生活用品,他们家里也有。孩子上学放学,校车上门儿接送,全没有城里接送孩子上下学的苦恼。有的人家,连上坟祭祖都是开着轿车去的,他们的日子过得很是惬意恬静自在,一点儿也不比城里人差。在他们面前,我作为城里人的优越感,霎时被一阵风儿吹走了,消失得无影无踪。只是那些生了锈的锄镰锨,安静地挂在墙角,见证了过去的岁月,我总是默默地多看几眼,生怕一不留神儿,就会从眼前溜走似的。推开家门,白发驼背的母亲,迈着不太灵便的腿,欢喜着迎接我。吃顿母亲做的饭,在老家的土炕上睡一觉,我浑身自自在在,回城时竟然有些不舍。

          在乡亲们眼里,我是城里人儿,村里没有我的户口,没有属于我的房屋,没有我的土地,甚至连我的爹娘也已离世多年了,我已经不属于农村啦。在村里我是局外人,再想回村里种几亩地,朝望炊烟升起,晚瞧牛羊归栏,过过那种田园生活,那已经是奢望了。

          然而我的心里,却不似以往那样失落,因为我明白,这样的变迁,是祖国发展、人民幸福的变奏曲,是70年来,农村发生翻天覆地变化的最强音!/曲京溪

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